Day 745 - Roaches eat better - https://golifelog.com/posts/roaches-eat-better-1673743255576

I [tweeted this out](https://twitter.com/jasonleowsg/status/1614261118104670212) yesterday:

> In my 30s: "I'm gonna build a unicorn startup!" 🦄
>
> Now in my 40s: "I'm happy to be a stubborn cockroach." 🪳
>
> Is it an age thing, or life stage of being a parent, or have I just lost my ambitions?

It's a new mindset that I'm just starting to get used to. I feel I'm clearer about my priorities, and it's not about being ambitious in that unicorn startup way but surviving, feeding my family, and not having this indie lifestyle taken away from me come what may – pandemic, economic recession, whatever the world can throw at me.

In any case, I'm realising that those unicorn dreams were borrowed dreams. Goals that were on loan from others and society at a time in my life when i was younger, more naive, and didn't know myself that well. Not that I know myself deeply now, but still better compared to my 20s/30s. Comes down to it, it's about evolving taste, life priorities, maturity, what I value now, what truly matters.

Some suggested calling myself a camel, horse, turtle instead. Love those. Noble creatures. But there's some thing I love about the metaphor of a cockroach. It's tiny, but tough. It's humbling to be reminded that I'm but a tiny actor in the bigger scheme of things. That I can't change *the* world, I only can try to improve my tiny bubble of the world—*my* world—by a tiny bit. But at least I get to keep going doing that, and remain resilient or even antifragile in face of external forces beyond my control.

[@LBacaj said it best](https://twitter.com/LBacaj/status/1614320005851619332):

> I tell you what, roaches eat well.
>
> It doesn’t take very much to be full and you’ve got your options of crumbs laying around no one seems to want.

That's the best thing I've heard about being a roach so far! Sooo true.

Unicorns can only be happy eating rainbows and gold.

I feel full doing what I'm doing right now.

And I'm grateful, thankful.