Day 588 - Great expectations - https://golifelog.com/posts/great-expectations-1660176204166
I’m tired of my expectations. What if I just do the thing and don’t expect anything? Would that work? Will I be happier but also effective?
That’s the thing about setting goals and targets. You’re also setting expectations, unintentionally. You’re making a deal to trade off your near-term joy with long-term happiness. With a goal, what I’m really doing is - I’ll be happy when I reach my goal. Until then, the discomfort of incompleteness will haunt me till I hit it.
For some things, it works. Its forcing function helps to garner the right amount of motivation to do it. It works especially well for things which have linear causation from effort to rewards, and can be achieved within a short enough time. Like say, writing an article. Or getting up early.
But not all goals are created equal. Some goals take years. Some say entrepreneurship success takes a decade even. And there’s no certainty that even at the end of ten years you’ll get rewarded. Trading off ten years of joy with happiness with no certainty of a reward is a perfect formula for making yourself very miserable.
I’m tired of doing that to myself.
I need a different approach. A better approach.
Drop my expectations. But that’s a tall order, because I’m only human. It’s hard to have zero expectations whatsoever. Maybe the least I can do is to make it front and centre. The monster you see and identify ceases to be as scary and powerful.
Maybe in every project I do and build, I got to list down my expectations. Every single one of them. Deep dig to uncover even the subconscious ones.
And see if I’ll be okay not fulfilling those expectations. Or if I can actively work on dropping them altogether inwardly.
And then just do the work, find some enjoyment in the process of doing it.
Maybe that’s how I can be happy yet effective.
That’s the thing about setting goals and targets. You’re also setting expectations, unintentionally. You’re making a deal to trade off your near-term joy with long-term happiness. With a goal, what I’m really doing is - I’ll be happy when I reach my goal. Until then, the discomfort of incompleteness will haunt me till I hit it.
For some things, it works. Its forcing function helps to garner the right amount of motivation to do it. It works especially well for things which have linear causation from effort to rewards, and can be achieved within a short enough time. Like say, writing an article. Or getting up early.
But not all goals are created equal. Some goals take years. Some say entrepreneurship success takes a decade even. And there’s no certainty that even at the end of ten years you’ll get rewarded. Trading off ten years of joy with happiness with no certainty of a reward is a perfect formula for making yourself very miserable.
I’m tired of doing that to myself.
I need a different approach. A better approach.
Drop my expectations. But that’s a tall order, because I’m only human. It’s hard to have zero expectations whatsoever. Maybe the least I can do is to make it front and centre. The monster you see and identify ceases to be as scary and powerful.
Maybe in every project I do and build, I got to list down my expectations. Every single one of them. Deep dig to uncover even the subconscious ones.
And see if I’ll be okay not fulfilling those expectations. Or if I can actively work on dropping them altogether inwardly.
And then just do the work, find some enjoyment in the process of doing it.
Maybe that’s how I can be happy yet effective.