Jason Leow

Saw this on my Twitter feed:

“The biggest success of my entire life was the fact that I managed to stay entirely unemployed.” — Emil Cioran via @viziandrei

I love how his success is defined by NOT being something instead of being something.

I mean, most of us set goals the latter way, isn’t it?

I want to be rich.
I want to be healthy.
I want to be happy.

Always phrase it in a positive way, they say, because by telling your brain to not think of a pink elephant you end up thinking of it. And you don’t want the negative outcome by framing your goal in a negative way. But somehow that always felt like an overly simplistic take of the brain to me. Surely there’s a difference between mere mental visualisation versus planning, thinking and acting on something more complex like goals. Surely we can tell the difference, and act accordingly.

And to be honest, I don’t need the positive framing of the goals either.

I don’t need to be rich. I just want to stay out of having a job.
I don’t need to be healthy. I just want to be free from chronic ailments.
I don’t need to be happy. I just don’t want to be bored with life.

So perhaps I can define my own success as NOT being something instead of being something.

Who cares if everyone does it differently…

Here’s the longer version of the Emil Cioran quote for those who are curious:

“I lived exactly the life that I wanted… free, without the constraints of a profession
without petty worries. A dream life, a life brimming with leisure, something unheard of in our times.

I read a lot; I read voraciously, but only what I liked, and when I attempted to write a few books, my work got rewarded because I never ignored my genuine interests and tastes.

The biggest success of my entire life was the fact that I managed to stay entirely
unemployed.

I designed my life quite well. I pretended that it was a failure; but it wasn’t.”

Will probably work brilliantly or fail terribly. Will report back 😆

Inspo from: @maximehugodupre

https://twitter.com/maximehugodupre/status/1587451935807913985

So I decided to [start afresh from zero](https://golifelog.com/posts/november-goals-1667257253907) for my products.

So let's do a honest "Hot Or Not" review of my products:

Outsprint Design - 🔥 Hot
- I mistakenly looked down on it in the past, because I wanted to transit out of consulting to fulltime indie. But had since come round to it, and owning it now.
- It's totally running on its own momentum now, and I'm getting new opportunities every other week (sometimes from completely cold, unexpected sources).
- It's the only thing keeping my family alive - just finished a $30k project, got another $7.6k one coming.

Plugins For Carrd - 🔥 Hot
- A project that started as a side project but really should be the main one.
- Right from get-go, it kind of marketed itself (still don't know how that worked!).
- From making a few fun dollars from digital downloads to it's now making more money per month than my SaaS products. Suffice to say, I'm doubling down on this next.

Lifelog - 🌶 Spicy
- This was my main project but sadly product-market fit wasn't forthcoming.
- I realised this should really be my hobby project, because it continues to have a special place in my heart in the same way a hobby does. I love to write and continue to write daily, and I enjoy hanging out with the community here.
- So while it's seemingly 'downgraded' to side project status, I still want to keep working on it.

5am creators - 🌶 Spicy
- A non revenue-generating project, done just for fun and learning.
- Sleep continues to be of major interest and relevance in my life, so I'm still into it.
- But I no longer market it as I prefer a tighter knit, self elected group.
- It does have some potential though to become a paid thing, even though I have no idea what it might look like.
- Some future ideas - ebook/email course on sleep biohacking, paid membership, Telegram bot to track sleep streaks

Sheet2Bio - ❄️ Not
- Started with a bang, getting lots of likes and support on Twitter, but it was totally a nice-to-have vitamin, not a painkiller.
- Sales was just 1 LTD. No product-market fit.
- Still want to make it a more proper SaaS, build out the home page and onboarding etc, but no grand ambitions for it.
- Might have to try freemium model.

Keto List Singapore - ❄️ Not
- This started with solving a specific need for my diet, but soon lapsed into lack of updates.
- It's still a unique product within the keto scene in Singapore, but my motivation to continue building it is low, as my diet had evolved.

Sweet Jam Sites - ❄️ Not
- Did a few web design projects. Earned maybe $1k cumulatively.
- But the Stackbit platform that I enjoyed building on changed drastically, and it's less fun to build on now.
- Lost interest after a while.

It's obviously which products I should be doubling down on, which ones are hobbies, and which ones are on the decline.

*Act accordingly.*

My intentions for November is simple:

- Finish well for my consulting gigs
- Start from zero for my products

I'm super grateful for the extended runway from my consulting, so it's a matter of continuing that practice of gratitude in action, as I had been doing the past 2 months already. One gig ends this week while another smallish one starts next week. I should be all done before November ends. I really want to do a good job and end well.

The great thing about doing a portfolio of products and services is that it allows me to walk away (briefly) from one or a few projects while I focus on another. The past 2 months of consulting had been a break from my indie products, so to speak. It gave me fresh perspective. That's where starting from zero comes into play...

Starting from zero for my products sounds simple, but probably harder than it seems. I don't know what that truly means in practice, but in theory, I find myself wanting to start on a clean slate. Without any preconceived or blindly inherited notions of right or wrong, should or must. Not following ideas and ideals of success or failure, but just really seeing my projects for what they are, as objectively as possible. To not hold on to it out of false gods, or as Daniel Vassallo likes to say:

> Treat your projects like cattle not pets.

Easier said than done, but I would like to try.

That's not to say I will shut down projects that aren't doing well or earning revenue. I'll likely just keep them around, just not commit any effort or bandwidth to them. And focus on the bets that have shown potential through real data.

Onwards!

📈 Current MRR (all from Lifelog): $119 (→$0)
📊 One-off revenue: $261 (↓$90)
💰 Total revenue: $380 (↓$90)
🏦 Total profit: $323.6 (↓$106.40) (excl. salary and consulting costs)

👀 Tweet impressions: 232k vs 240k
💙 Likes: 2.6k vs 2.1k
💬 Engagement rate: 3.9% vs 3.9%
🏡 Profile visits: 32.7k vs 36.6k
📣 Mentions: 1088 vs 996
👣 New followers: 280 vs 211
📧 Email subscribers: 40 (↑4)

Looking back at my intentions for October:

Practising gratitude by doing well for my consulting gig
Aligning to my values and own authentic self
Doing some groundwork for building in Nov/Dec
I think I managed to practice all three. The gig is completing, and I expect to wind down for the year by mid Nov. Yet because I’ve stopped building for two months, I’m eager to jump back to coding my products then. Hope to have some active rest, and just work at my own place then.

Alignment continues to feel good. Every time I make a tiny tweak to my profile on Twitter, Makerlog or some other social platform, I feel better about it. I’m incrementally piecing the puzzle that’s my authentic online self.

My early thoughts for the building phase to come: It’ll be about doing my own thing, following my own instincts. And dropping a lot more of the current indie hacker practices I’m doing but no longer interests or serve me. Considering dropping revenue progress charts and updates, for example. It’s already shifting that way since this month.

Overall, October felt like the start of a 180º shift in my indie solopreneur approach… in time for the new year to come.

Got to admit: This is an easy trap to fall into.

Stressing over stress is the best (and stupidest) way to amplify stress, not reduce it.

Because when it comes to biohacking and improvement of any kind, it’s so easy to stay in a deficit mindset. To keep finding things to fix about yourself. To keep telling myself I need fixing.

That’s just another way to flagellate myself on a daily basis, that I’m broken.

More self-beating.
More anxiety.
More frustration.
More stress.

That can’t be a good thing.

Inferring from that, I’m struck by a new thought:

I’ve always done worked hard at biohacking and improving myself from a place of lack. I’ve never once experienced self improvement from a place of abundance and sufficiency. From self love and acceptance.

It feels almost logically impossible, doesn’t it?

Can one accept oneself yet still feel there are area where one can grow in? Wouldn’t self acceptance also accept all the flaws and gaps, and lead to a kind of laziness around self growth?

I’m not sure. I certainly wish it’s possible, but I’ve never seen it, felt it, touched it before.

How do I destress without stressing?
How do I grow from a place of abundance and acceptance?

Answers welcomed.

When doors to opportunities close in your face, it sucks. It’s weird but sometimes the Universe was actually trying to protect you with the closed door.

Like how a few months back I had a meeting with a potential client, and the chat ended off well. It felt optimistic. I liked the problem they were trying to solve. A consultancy gig was in the books. Or so it seemed. Weeks on, the lead went cold. No news. What a shame, I thought.

But recently I had the chance to learn more about the client and their project. There were so many red flags! Now I know why that door was closed.

I was being protected. Somehow.

It reminded me of this parable of a Chinese farmer:

A farmer and his son had a beloved horse who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbours exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.”

A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild horses back to the farm as well. The neighbours shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.”

Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the horses and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The neighbours cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.”

A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, because he had a broken leg. The neighbours shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.

It’s crazy how our notions of good or bad events happening to us are so tunnel-visioned on our immediate context. The moment the context switches, what’s good or bad switches too.

Truly, it’s impossible to know the good or bad, objectively.

An open door is good fortune, but can turn into misfortune. A close door counts as bad luck, but ended up as good luck. If the Universe didn’t offer a peek behind the curtains for this one occasion, I would have never known the bad had flipped to the good.

Makes me think a lot about my recent bad luck and misfortunes.
Made me think even more about some of the recent good opportunities that came along.

Maybe it’s bad.
Maybe it’s good.
Maybe not. We’ll see.

If there's ever a playbook for the portfolio of small bets approach, this is probably it:

> What to unlearn/relearn
>
> \- Hard work → Trial & error
> \- Focus → Many things at once
> \- Optimization → 80/20 rule
> \- Consistency → Intensity
> \- Avoid distractions → Embrace randomness
> \- Practice 10,000 hrs → 100 bets
> \- Goals → Stay in the game
> \- Efficiency → Slack in the system
>
> – [@dvassallo](https://twitter.com/dvassallo/status/1585320516378058752)

I'm a fan of Daniel's ideas around small bets. It resonated with me, and articulated something I had always intuited and had been doing even before it came along. But what's interesting about this list of things to unlearn/relearn is how spot on it is on all the things I'm struggling with on my indie solopreneur journey.

For the longest time, especially in school and when employed, I'm totally about the qualities on the left side of the list: hard work, focus, optimization, consistency, avoid distractions, 10k hours, setting goals, efficiency. Maybe I wasn't like that when I'm a kid, but it had certainly been beaten into me over the decades. Our society in general incentivizes these qualities. You're a good boy or girl if you do all of that.

That's why it's been a steep uphill climb unlearning all that early conditioning. Maybe that's why I feel stuck.

If I were to give myself kindergarten grades for how well I'm doing transiting over:

- ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Hard work → Trial & error
- ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Focus → Many things at once
- ⭐️⭐️ Optimization → 80/20 rule
- ⭐️ Consistency → Intensity
- ⭐️⭐️ Avoid distractions → Embrace randomness
- ⭐️⭐️ Practice 10,000 hrs → 100 bets
- ⭐️ Goals → Stay in the game
- ⭐️ Efficiency → Slack in the system

I'm still pretty much a consistency person. I get that I can still keep my daily habits and still practice intensity for my products, but it's been hard separating what is a hardwired personality trait.

I loved goal setting. It used to work very well for everything I do in the past. So practising to let go of it had been hard. I used to do monthly goals but now it's more monthly intentions, which work for me.

Giving myself slack in the system was the hardest. I would optimize and utilize every waking minute to work or do something. Taking a break intentionally was counter-reflex. That's also why I burned out multiple times over the past decade.

I reminded myself that I should bring a [skeptic's lens](https://golifelog.com/posts/a-skeptics-lens-1666737100854) to this, that I need to make this mine instead of blindly following someone else's playbook. So still lots to experiment and discern. I suspect as I go, it's not a total transition from left to right on the list, but more of a nuanced intuition on when and where I stand depending on the context.

After all, I've been doing this even before the playbook came along. I want to circle back to that beginner's mind, even as I learn more.

Onwards!

Notably, added "We write for the long game."

"A community for creators to develop a daily writing habit. Just 100 words a day. We write for the long game. Made by @jasonleowsg"